BlattNews

By Wyatt Blatt

Ashburn, VA, 5/24/26: Five local boys trying to have some fun on a cheeky Saturday evening.

Despite repeatedly denying them from his house knowing that nothing good could ever come from it, the evil boys forced their way into the Blatt abode. Just trying to watch the beautiful DC United game, Wyatt makes the boys promise zero trolling and no Bobby harboring however he knows that those promises will absolutely be broken. Despite being Ultron himself, Mr. Nutter was unable to connect the Macbook Neo to the TV with the adapter and unfortunately the DC United match had to be watched on the Neo and the local boys were unable to fully enjoy the passion of the 4-4 draw.

Described as “a bit of banter” by local Arunski, the trolling this time around was mild compared to the usual evil trolling, although it was still very disgusting”.

Midway through the mild trolling, the evil Bobby Dragoi thought it a great idea to move the poster that was rolled up in storage and tape it up on the wall. Unfortunately for the Robey High School attendee, Homelander walked down in the basement and was immediately justifiably enraged by the evil trolling. Also noticing that the sim was clearly out of place Homelander was again furious and immediately banned the local boys.

Although the sim’s position was very debatable, none of the local boys can dispute the fact that they absolutely had the ban coming for objectively disrespecting the Blatt basement.

“Fertilizer, seed spreader”- Local Nutter 2026